If you’re into seedy adult comics like The Boys and The Ultimates, just check out what Roger Clemens has been up to lately. Already dogged by steroid rumors, the Hall of Famer-to be now finds himself mired in a sex scandal, as the Rocket’s accused of having a decade-long affair with country singer Mindy McReady that allegedly began when she was just 15. I don’t care how hard you throw, how many games you’ve won or what kind of “character” you’re supposed to have; dig long enough and deep enough and you’re bound to uncover a few skeletons in ANY one’s closet. Something tells me it’s only gonna get worse for Clemens before all is said and done…

Love the nail-biting thrills of super-showdowns like JSA and Secret Invasion? Try sitting still during a Game 7 NBA showdown between the heavily favored Celtics and the upstart Hawks, or the clinching NHL playoff game between hated rivals the Detroit Red Wings and the Colorado Avalance. I don’t even LIKE hockey, but when those two heated rivals meet, you KNOW blood will flow. Throw in some of these four-overtime thrillers, and it’s a wonder the NHL playoffs aren’t on national TV.

But perhaps the most heart-warming sports story in decades occurred just a few days ago, in a women’s Division II softball game of all things. During a game between Central Oregon and Western Oregon, Western’s Sara Tucholsky belted a home run over the center field fence. But on her way around first, she blew out her knee and couldn’t continue running the bases. NCAA rules dictate that a player cannot be helped by her own team, but that player can be subbed and the hit reduced to a single. Instead, two Central players, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace, picked up Tucholsky and carried her around the bases. The ironic part? The home run was not only the first one of Tucholsky’s career (she’s a senior), the three runs it generated helped knock Central Oregon out of its league playoffs.
Think you’d ever seen Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter carry an injured David Ortiz around the bases during a Yankees-Red Sox game that would cause the Bronx Bombers to lose? Sportsmanship like that just does not exist at the pro level in any sport, and it’s a moment that’ll make you proud if you’ve ever played, followed or covered organized sports.

Next time you find yourself in the midst of a cruddy comic, trying putting it down for a minute and checking out your local sports page; I guarantee there’s stories there that will move you, haunt you and turn you into a sports fan.

I had a co-worker/roommate (hey, Jodie!) who LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Moore and his work on that book; she had the Katchoo in the bathtub statue and everything! Me, I came too late to the game and never really got into it.
I effed up.

I’ve checked out the first two issues of Moore’s new book, Echo and have thoroughly enjoyed not just the sci-fi/adventure plot (Julie Martin’s a young woman photographing landscapes in the desert when an experimental military battle suit is destroyed overhead, raining some new liquid alloy over her body; intrigue ensues!), but also Moore’s gorgeous black and white art, which is gallery worthy.

It’s so simple but so beautiful to look at; it’s packed with detail, the line work is extraordinary, the storytelling and pacing is dead-on, and the acting in his characters is second to none. And as an old-timer raised on black and white movies, I don’t miss the color for one second; in fact, the art’s so good, I can’t imagine it in color, nor would I want to see it that way (except for the covers).

In Julie Martin, Moore’s created an engaging lead who’s in the vein of a female Peter Parker—she’s in the midst of a painful divorce, she’s going broke and can’t pay her bills and the only things in her fridge are hot dogs and lettuce. Now throw in this intrigue she finds herself in, and her mundane life becomes anything but. And of course, Moore throws in a badass female assassin (Ivy), who’s also a loving mom.

With all that going for it, I just had to give a shout-out to Echo. Do yourself a favor and pick it up now. Only the first two issues are out, and they shouldn’t be hard to track down. Get in on the ground floor now; that’s how the cool kids do it.

So my girlfriend’s family does something called “Egg Wars” every year at Easter; everyone in the family decorates an egg, then you go around the table and smash your eggs together. The one that doesn’t crack is declared the winner, and the last man (or woman) standing has his or her egg displayed in the family china cabinet until next year when it’s retired and buried in the backyard.

Being a rookie, I didn’t have much of a chance. But you know what? I love being the underdog, so when I whipped out my Hellboy Egg—based on Mike Mignola’s signature creation—I was understandably mocked for using a comic-inspired decoration.

Also, it seemed ironic (and a bit blasphemous) that I would enter a demonic-tinged egg into the competition on a day reserved to celebrate Christ rising from the grave.

Now, my Hellboy Egg is proudly displayed in the family’s china cabinet until next year…which may call for a Liz Sherman or Abe Sapien Egg as a companion piece!

So, while you bask in the glory that is my Hellboy Easter Egg, please make sure to go and check out all of Mike Mignola’s Hellboy and B.P.R.D. comics. There’s a new Abe Sapien book out now, “The Drowning” that gives the amphibious adventurer his first starring role (the most recent issue hit Wednesday); while the BPRD: 1946 book takes a look back at the post-World War II origins of the monster-hunting band of heroes (think “The Dirty Dozen” meets “The X-Files”).
Go read ‘em now!

I’m still recovering from my St. Patrick’s Day reunion with college friends in Philadelphia (it’s been 10 years since I’ve seen many of them), but there’s a ton of things that have been on my mind, so in no particular order, here’s a pick-up truck full of stuff you should check out:

PHILADELPHIA
City of Brotherly Love? Birthplace of Independence? Right on both counts, but it’s also home to some amazing bars, restaurants and tons of stuff to do—including cheese steaks at 1:30 a.m. at Jim’s on South Street. (Pat’s is the best, but not walkable.) Remember: You always want Wiz With (that’s liquid cheese spread and grilled onions). Ketchup is optional, but appreciated.

BLUE BEETLE
Along with Marvel’s Ultimate Spider-Man, this is without a doubt the best teen superhero book on the racks, with just as much focus on the personal dilemmas of this fledgling hero as the crazy-cool cosmic madness he’s messed up in. Writer John Rogers has crafted on hell of a teen-centric superhero soap; take a bath with it ASAP.

STARMAN
Though it’s been off shelves for a while, I had the chance to go back and read the first couple of trades for a “Bookshelf” review I’m working on of the upcoming Omnibus that hits in May. Let me tell you: If you’re looking for one of the greatest heroic legacies in the history of DC Comics, you’ve got to read James Robinson’s Starman. Not only does it feature sensational art by Tony Harris, it chronicles the entire arc of Jack Knight’s turn as a reluctant superhero, while weaving in and out of the DC continuity to include ties to both the JSA and the Legion of Super-Heroes. If you like self-contained, literary comic epics like Sandman and Preacher, Starman is their superhero equivalent.

GHOST RIDER

Jason Aaron and Roland Boschi have turned a corner with Marvel’s Spirit of Vengeance, and it’s got my engine revving to maximum RPMs. Their first two issues set up a rad new status quo, as Johnny Blaze learns he’s not a demon, but an angel of vengeance and he wants God to answer for what’s going on. Throw in the small redneck town that’s home to a cannibal coroner, a haunted highway and warrior nurses that want to kill the Ghost Rider, and this is on biker gang you’ll want to join ASAP.

WEEDS

I got Season 2 of this amazing Showtime series for Christmas, but haven’t started watching it till now. What was wrong with me? I have the biggest crush imaginable on Mary-Louise Parker, whose dysfunctional family is only more complicated by the fact she’s her town’s biggest pot dealer. My favorite scene so far from Season 2 (I’m halfway done!): Uncle Andy takes 11-year old Shane to a “massage parlor” for a “hand” in sexual instruction! Classic! I’ve GOT to get caught up on the rest of the series.

However, for some reason, writer Jason Aaron decided to put me through that very scenario in the most recent issue (#15) of his DC/Vertigo series, Scalped with artist R.M Guera. And I just about messed myself the same way the poor victim soiled himself while enduring said torture.

Is there any doubt as to why I love Scalped? Aaron is without a doubt the real deal, the next great graphic novelist, another treasure in the mold of Gaiman, Ennis, Azzarello, etc.—a comic book writer with literary sense.

And the fact that he dabbles on the dark side with his crime thriller—set on a desolate Native American reservation and starring an undercover FBI agent as a cop on the take, working for a crimelord who runs the rez with an iron fist, which sounds like the perfect recipe for an HBO series—appeals to my baser nature.

Check out the most recent arc: Titled “Dead Mothers,” it finds said FBI agent Dashiell Bad Horse investigating the murder of a dead prostitute—and caring for her oldest son in the interim—while dealing with the brutal killing of his own mother (whom he apparently detested), which in turn pits him against the godfather of the rez, Chief Red Crow, who was in love with Gina Bad Horse, Dash’s murdered mother.

Sounds juicy, doesn’t it? Like an eyeball plucked from your head while you’re totally conscious.

Put some Scalped in your head ASAP. The first two trades, “Indian Country” and “Casino Boogie” are available now, and issue #15 just hit this week. What are you waiting for, kemosabe?

The question we’ve been getting is: How the hell do you put this thing together each week? Glad you asked!

STEP 1: Scouting report
Every Monday, I check out various retailer Websites to see what’s coming out. I usually print out a list, target what books we can discuss in the main bar discussion, then try and get an idea of what Quick Hits I can get a jump on.

STEP 2: Gameplan
Since these days we get advance copies and PDFs from publishers, it’s a lot easier to get a jump on the review process. So Monday and Tuesday, I usually grab a half-dozen or so books I know will be Quick Hits, read the hell out of them, and whip up my reviews on those and get them out of the way.

STEP 3: Gameday
Wednesday means game time! The research gang picks up the books from our local retailer around 11 a.m.; as soon as the stack comes in, we pull our three main bar books, assemble our review team in the conference room, grab our grub and get to reading!

STEP 4: Call the play
After about an hour or so, the three reviewers for the week close the door and hunker down. Yours truly tries to type along and transcribe the entire conversation (or at least as I can best remember it), while making sure we recap the book and focus on both the good and bad of whatever we’re reviewing. We keep the discussions tight, about 10-15 minutes, I’ll make occasional fart noises or do little dances to keep things light, then we move on to the next book.

STEP 5: Get it together
Cleaning up the transcript and putting together the document of reviews is the toughest part of the gig, because there’s so much text, a bunch of different voices and a literal TON of HTML code that has to be input. And trust me, when you’re Fred Flintstone living in a George Jetson world, it AIN’T the easiest thing in the world. QB ends up running anywhere from 6,000 to 10,000 words in a single week; this week for example, the Word doc was roughly 18 pages. So since I’ve been running this shebang (about five, six months now), I’ve put together almost a novel’s worth of comics reviews. Whoa! That’s crazy!

STEP 6: Finishing touches
Once all that’s out of the way on Wednesday night, I usually take a stack of books home with me, around 12 or so, just to check them out and see what we can put in or new section, Extra Points, where we give little shout-outs to the stars of the week. Thursday a.m. when I roll in the office, I get the images and covers together, design that bear in our Website design program, then hand it off to Big Jim Gibbons to check it out and make sure all my HTML works and get another set of eyes on it too. Sometimes we’re up by 10:30 a.m. publish, other times we hit the 12:30 p.m. publish time, depending on how much art, etc.

STEP 7: Pass out
That’s pretty much what I do at lunch on Thursday. But don’t tell my boss; he still hasn’t found my secret nap spot yet!

Thanks for reading; check out Thursday Morning Quarterback every week. Hell, you can check out this week’s edition right now; just click here right now!

(Yeah, I know I’m old when I still buy CDs; I don’t even know what an iPod is.)

At any rate, the album’s funky, folksy, rocking and inspirational all around. The Crowes, who bill themselves as “The World’s Most Rock-n-Roll Rock and Roll Band” are a very polarizing group; you either or love them or hate them. I’m with the former camp; I’ve seen them live at least a half-dozen times, I own all their albums and the DVDs to boot.

Kick back, pick up a buzz however you like and give “War Paint” a try. You can check out all the album tracks at this Amazon link here.

In other words, I’m gonna be the biggest hype man in comics, and keep my vibe on the positive tip! Now, on with the show!

RECOMMENDATION OF THE WEEK: “TUROK: SON OF STONE” DVD

If there’s one thing I learned from the movies, it’s that anything can happen on a snow day.

So when a big snowstorm hit the Northeast last weekend, I took the opportunity to catch up on some DVD watching. I grabbed the review copy of the recently released “Turok: Son of Stone,” with no expectations other than a glowing review I’d read on AintItCool.com a while back and a thimble-full of knowledge about the character, a Native American variation on Conan that was once published by Acclaim and Valiant and spawn of a hit video game series.

However, one element of the DVD packaging caught my attention and prompted my investigation: “WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE.” That piqued my curiosity, and I had to learn what the producers meant by that bold proclamation.

I discovered in the first five minutes of the flick, when Turok beheads, dismembers, maims and kills five attacking enemies in a slow-mo ballet of manga-inspired mayhem, blood, gore and all. Then the drama turns psychological when Turok blindly lashes out in his bloodlust and nearly kills his brother, an act that forces Turok into exile. Years later, a conflict with a bigger tribe of enemies prompts Turok to return when his brother, now the chief, is killed in battle, forcing his wife and son to seek Turok’s aid and protection. Those three stumble into a sort of “savage land” populated by a lost tribe of their brethren—as well as man-eating dinosaurs, prehistoric birds of prey and deadly flora and fauna where every step could be your last. There’s plenty more subsequent “Braveheart”-type battles, all rendered in vivid shades of red and choreographed with Cirque du Soleil precision, as Turok attempts to lead his people and find his place in this new world.

“Turok” also displays some imagination-shredding imagery that’s a delight for any fanboy, such as a “Raiders of the Lost Ark”-inspired action sequence when Turok and company first encounter the dangers of their lost world (capped by an encounter with a man-eating leviathan), and massive battle sequences against bloodthirsty, nearly unkillable proto-humans that rouse the blood like the epic clashes of “Lord of the Rings.”

“Turok” hit on a lot of touchstones for me: It reminded me of “Thundarr the Barbarian,” if it starred a Native American-Viking-hybrid warrior who embarks on an epic Conan-like journey when he travels to strange lands populated with “Jurassic Park” nightmares. Then you’d have to amp up the energy to “Jonny Quest” levels, render and direct it in an anime-inspired style and create a world as lush and detailed as the nightmare realms of “Heavy Metal.”

“Turok’s” home run power should come as no surprise when you consider the creative lineup, including screenwriter Tony Bedard (one-time Turok writer/editor and current Birds of Prey scribe), directors Frank Squillace (“Juniper Lee”), Dan Riba and Curt Geda (“Justice League Unlimited”) and supervising producer Tad Stones (“Hellboy Animated”). Did we mention the high-powered executive producing by Michael Uslan (“Batman”)? Classic Media put together a top-notch team of talents for “Turok,” and that goes for the actors, too, especially Adam Beach (“Flags of our Fathers”) in the title role.

There’s a lot of much-deserved hoopla about “Justice League: New Frontier” hitting on DVD this week, so while you’re scarfing up your copy of that must-have animated flick, grab “Turok: Son of Stone” too. A cult-favorite in the making, its sophisticated story, fanboy flavor and adrenaline-fueled action make it a rock solid addition to your DVD collection.

Got something you think I should check out? Leave a comment on my blog! I’m always looking for a hot tip (and not in the dirty way that implies). Thanks!